some thoughts from today

I was looking at some of the books on my bookshelf today and decided to take To Kill a Mockingbird down and flip through it. I've had that book for years and read it a number of times. It also accompanied my sister to her English class in high school where she had to read it too.

As I flipped through the (clearly) well-loved pages, I started getting excited to talk about it with my kids in 10 or so years. Then I looked at the other books on that particular shelf, all of them exciting that I'll get to share them with my little clones.

That's when I had the realization that I'd been kind of looking for. Every time I've gone through a job search, and this is probably true for most people, I think a little bit harder about what I'm passionate about. What kind of work would get me out of bed in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep? What do I feel passionate about to the point where I would actually try to convince someone who didn't like it that it's wonderful? I feel that way about books. I have very few emotional connections with things, but books are one of the things I'm most passionate about.

I know some people say it's a dying industry, replacing these piles of paper and ink with digital text files you can read on a low-power device that'll hold thousands of books. Amazon even announced that they've started selling more Kindle versions of books than they have physical books. I don't think books are going away any time soon. No one has the same emotional connection to a digital file as they have for a physical object. Pictures of your family seem more real when they're printed on glossy paper than they do on a computer screen. Don't they? People have no compulsion about deleting old MP3 files but we hang on to the old LPs we have because by touching them, seeing them on the shelf, we reconnect with that person we were and the people we were with when we put those records on the turntable years ago. Never mind that you don't have a turntable anymore or that you have a digital version of the album. The same thing goes for books. By thumbing through the pages, you remember the journey you emotionally went on as you smell the same pages and feel the paper in your fingers. You see the notes you wrote in the margins, the highlights you made years ago and smile at the things you thought were so important. It's like a flash of vacation pictures from the trip where you floated on the Mississippi River with Huck and Tom in an instant.

The other reason I don't think physical books are going away is that there's a status attached with having lots of books. Some people pay big money to have libraries full of matching, leather-bound volumes just for the symbol of having lots of fancy books. So what if my shelves are full of paperbacks that I've had to masking tape back together? It doesn't change the fact that there are books on shelves. What's better, I've actually read mine. In any case, there's a social currency in having lots of books and I don't think that's going to change soon either. It's much more difficult to show off your collection of digital texts when you have people come over to your house. You can't have your digital copy of Ulysses staring at people from the shelf in the corner while they admire your Ayn Rand collection of text files.

I'm realizing that I should probably be looking for something having to do with books, since they affect me so much. And apparently Kanye says he does just fine without them. Exasperating.