Saturday, August 14

Important supervillain planning complete

Blofeld in You Only Live Twice, On Her Majesty...Image via Wikipedia
You know how people tend to work things out in the shower? Buckaroo Banzai says it's one of the three Bs, places where the best ideas are born: bed, bath and bus. Anyway, I was in the shower today, contemplating life, the universe, and everything when I had the most fantastic brainstorm.

I got my latest great idea for becoming a supervillain. I'd become Horst von Throatpunch and acquire both a European aristocratic title and a doctorate in something like biochemistry or international extortion by dubious means. Then I'd build a fortress high in the Alps with a helicopter pad and automated missile launchers and do evil things from there. I haven't exactly decided what schemes I would want to have, but that's the beauty of being a supervillain. I can have as many schemes as I want and one of them's bound to work sometime. I think that Blofeld would be a good example of plans that I might want to engage in like hijacking some nuclear weapons from NATO, biological warfare distributed by hypnotized socialites, giant laser in a satellite orbiting the earth, stuff like that. Those aren't clichés yet, are they?

Duke Dr. Horst von Throatpunch, undisputed ruler of the Western Hemisphere. Has a nice ring to it. Maybe that's what I'll put on my business cards.
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