At the moment, there are a number of things in my house that are dismantled because they're not working the way they should be and I'm not feeling much like writing today. I need to keep in the habit, though, because I decided a while ago that I want to make sure that I'm taking time regularly to do things to exercise this creative streak I have, feed the machine that comes up with ideas like the killer cyborg Abraham Lincoln.
Today at work, I came up with a visual for a kind of internal marketing effort for the big tool I'm helping manage development of. I'm excited about it and wondering how much buzz I can build around this tool.
Wednesday, September 30
Wednesday, September 23
another week, another update
Here we both are again, rolling our eyes over the same text, but not the same as last time. When I said "same text," I meant you're looking at the same words I'm looking at, but it's different from the last stuff I wrote. Having cleared that up, probably unnecessarily, let's move on.
You know how you have the best ideas in the places where it's not very easy to take notes? Buckaroo Banzai calls them the three Bs: bed, bus and bath. They come to you when you're showering or brushing your teeth, driving or riding on the bus and staring out the window, or while you're lying in bed hoping that you can fall asleep because you have an early morning meeting that you have to be on time for. You know what I'm talking about. They're the best ideas because your mind's relaxed, you don't have to pay attention to what you're doing and your mind is free to make connections between crazy things without fear of being censored. And then you come up with a simple, elegant solution to the problem you've been trying to work out or you've got a great idea that fits perfectly with what you were thinking before.
The only trouble with those revelations is you're in the middle of doing something else and I don't know about you, but I always have to debate whether the idea is worth climbing out of bed for to write down because I know I'll forget it by the time I wake up. Or if I'm in the shower, I have to decide if I mind some water drips on my notebook. Yes, I have some trouble retaining good ideas, probably because they feel all out of place in my head, which probably looks like a frigate in a bottle on the inside. It's not unusual at all for me to be lying in bed and jump out all of a sudden to write something down that I think is absolutely brilliant.
Recently, I've been keeping my iPhone by my bed to take those kinds of notes on. (I have most of my brilliant flashes while I'm in bed.) There are a couple of advantages with that. When I need to write down some notes, it makes its own light. I don't have to turn a light on, like I do with my notebook. The other nifty thing is that the notes automatically make it to the computer I do my writing on, so I have them in one place.
The disadvantages are that I'm less inclined to jump out of the shower to take a note because I don't want to hurt my nifty phone, where with a notebook, I just wipe my hands off and write. A couple of drips on the page don't bother me. The other thing I can think of is that if I have it in the bedroom, it makes noises at me as it gets emails and other things, which is annoying when I'm trying to sleep.
The important thing here, though, is to take the notes. You'll be glad you did.
You know how you have the best ideas in the places where it's not very easy to take notes? Buckaroo Banzai calls them the three Bs: bed, bus and bath. They come to you when you're showering or brushing your teeth, driving or riding on the bus and staring out the window, or while you're lying in bed hoping that you can fall asleep because you have an early morning meeting that you have to be on time for. You know what I'm talking about. They're the best ideas because your mind's relaxed, you don't have to pay attention to what you're doing and your mind is free to make connections between crazy things without fear of being censored. And then you come up with a simple, elegant solution to the problem you've been trying to work out or you've got a great idea that fits perfectly with what you were thinking before.
The only trouble with those revelations is you're in the middle of doing something else and I don't know about you, but I always have to debate whether the idea is worth climbing out of bed for to write down because I know I'll forget it by the time I wake up. Or if I'm in the shower, I have to decide if I mind some water drips on my notebook. Yes, I have some trouble retaining good ideas, probably because they feel all out of place in my head, which probably looks like a frigate in a bottle on the inside. It's not unusual at all for me to be lying in bed and jump out all of a sudden to write something down that I think is absolutely brilliant.
Recently, I've been keeping my iPhone by my bed to take those kinds of notes on. (I have most of my brilliant flashes while I'm in bed.) There are a couple of advantages with that. When I need to write down some notes, it makes its own light. I don't have to turn a light on, like I do with my notebook. The other nifty thing is that the notes automatically make it to the computer I do my writing on, so I have them in one place.
The disadvantages are that I'm less inclined to jump out of the shower to take a note because I don't want to hurt my nifty phone, where with a notebook, I just wipe my hands off and write. A couple of drips on the page don't bother me. The other thing I can think of is that if I have it in the bedroom, it makes noises at me as it gets emails and other things, which is annoying when I'm trying to sleep.
The important thing here, though, is to take the notes. You'll be glad you did.
Monday, September 21
Boys have bathroom rules
For the women who read this blog, it may come as a surprise to you that men have bathroom rules. We all just know them, kind of like information about tanks and Superman. These rules are very stringent, yet never spoken about; it's just part of being a boy. Also, keep in mind that these rules are standard in the American culture.
Rule 1: No looking around.
This one seems like kind of a no-brainer. You can look straight forward, you can look down. Even looking straight up is seen as a breach of etiquette, but won't earn you the disdain of everyone in the room like breaking some of the other rules will.
Rule 2: No talking.
Talking to yourself is unacceptable, to say nothing of talking to another man. There is an uncomfortable, marginally acceptable exception to this rule, and that is if you're both finished and only washing your hands. Still, that makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable and is generally avoided. If you're taking your kid to the bathroom, you can talk to your kid.
This rule is why that scene in Austin Powers is so uncomfortable. Not only is Austin breaking this rule when the Irish assassin guy attacks him, but the guy in the next stall is breaking the rule as well. And not just any guy. It's Tom Arnold. If you ranked all the guys in the world who would make you the most uncomfortable talking to you in the bathroom, he'd rank up there in the top 5.
Rule 4: Don't take a spot right next to someone else, if you can help it.
Men will only use half the toilets there are actually installed if they can possibly help it. Obvious exceptions would be sporting events like a baseball game or football game, where you've all got to go at halftime or whatever break in the action there is. The need to quickly be back watching the game outweighs this rule. Another bathroom rule that Tom Arnold broke in the Austin Powers movie, making it that much more uncomfortable.
So why this sudden interest to get these rules out there? Because there are regular breaches in American male bathroom etiquette at work, not to mention other things that make me cringe. I thought I'd share because who doesn't like bathroom jokes?
As a parting gift, here's a list of noises you definitely don't want to hear in the bathroom:
Rule 1: No looking around.
This one seems like kind of a no-brainer. You can look straight forward, you can look down. Even looking straight up is seen as a breach of etiquette, but won't earn you the disdain of everyone in the room like breaking some of the other rules will.
Rule 2: No talking.
Talking to yourself is unacceptable, to say nothing of talking to another man. There is an uncomfortable, marginally acceptable exception to this rule, and that is if you're both finished and only washing your hands. Still, that makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable and is generally avoided. If you're taking your kid to the bathroom, you can talk to your kid.
This rule is why that scene in Austin Powers is so uncomfortable. Not only is Austin breaking this rule when the Irish assassin guy attacks him, but the guy in the next stall is breaking the rule as well. And not just any guy. It's Tom Arnold. If you ranked all the guys in the world who would make you the most uncomfortable talking to you in the bathroom, he'd rank up there in the top 5.
Rule 3: No touching.
Do I really need to comment on this one? There aren't any exceptions I can think of that don't involve life-and-death situations. Because if you touch someone, you'll find yourself in a life-and-death situation pretty quickly.
Rule 4: Don't take a spot right next to someone else, if you can help it.
Men will only use half the toilets there are actually installed if they can possibly help it. Obvious exceptions would be sporting events like a baseball game or football game, where you've all got to go at halftime or whatever break in the action there is. The need to quickly be back watching the game outweighs this rule. Another bathroom rule that Tom Arnold broke in the Austin Powers movie, making it that much more uncomfortable.
So why this sudden interest to get these rules out there? Because there are regular breaches in American male bathroom etiquette at work, not to mention other things that make me cringe. I thought I'd share because who doesn't like bathroom jokes?
As a parting gift, here's a list of noises you definitely don't want to hear in the bathroom:
- grunting
- snoring
- panting
- nervous giggling
- laughing
- someone saying "oh, no" or "whoops"
Wednesday, September 16
My feelings about Dan Brown
In case you haven't been paying any attention at all to the world of books, Dan Brown's latest book just came out. With that, I thought I'd share how I feel about his writing style, not him as a person. I don't know the guy, but I'm sure he's an interesting guy to talk to. Now, I know that this could be a potentially divisive post, but I'm hoping to keep it fairly level-headed. I'm pretty good at being objective, but if you think I missed something or that I'm way off base, I'm all for considering your point, as long as you back it up with examples. You can't just leave it with, "You don't know anything about anything, poophead." Now that we've got some ground rules for discourse, here we go.
The first thing I want to say is that the man's books are definitely page-turners. They're the kind of books you pick up and read a chapter and get to the end of that chapter and think, "I just can't stop with that," and thumb through the pages to find out how long the next chapter is. "Oh, that's not too long," you inevitably think to yourself and commit to reading for just a few more minutes so you can finish the next chapter. This process continues until you get to the end, realize that you've just missed that meeting you were supposed to go to, didn't make dinner, didn't take the trash out, and missed your usual bedtime by about two hours. Then you kick yourself for getting so sucked in as you think about how many parts of the story could actually be true.
Having said that, he seems to put comic book characters into his books. They tend to be fairly flat, with their defining characteristics aligned the same general direction. Robert Langdon is just a regular guy who's freaky good at puzzles and codes. Langdon also seems like Superman in that it seems like his hair never really gets messed up, he makes his way through the story relatively unscathed. Sure, maybe he gets beat up every now and then, has to run and hide a couple of times, but he's not like John McClane in Die Hard, bleeding all over the place in his cut-up bare feet, doesn't seem to have a dark side that he indulges when he's on the run and "accidents" could happen. I understand that because he's so smart, he gets to stay just a little bit ahead of the physical danger. But that never seems to help Batman. Batman's the World's Greatest Detective, but he has to get his point across to criminals with his bonecrushing fists.
The last point I want to bring up is how many deep, sinister global conspiracies can there be in the world at a time? Holy crap! And a single guy (Robert Langdon) has dug into all of them? Really? I mean, this is more than Mulder and Scully figured out. They only had to deal with the one about aliens. All the other weird stuff they had to figure out were just unexplained, odd cases. And that was their freaking job! They weren't puppeteers by day, mystery solvers when Uncle Sam called the hotline. They were already FBI agents, so it was their job to dig into conspiracies.
All in all, I think the stories are interesting, the characters aren't. And Mr. Brown sells a lot of stories.
The first thing I want to say is that the man's books are definitely page-turners. They're the kind of books you pick up and read a chapter and get to the end of that chapter and think, "I just can't stop with that," and thumb through the pages to find out how long the next chapter is. "Oh, that's not too long," you inevitably think to yourself and commit to reading for just a few more minutes so you can finish the next chapter. This process continues until you get to the end, realize that you've just missed that meeting you were supposed to go to, didn't make dinner, didn't take the trash out, and missed your usual bedtime by about two hours. Then you kick yourself for getting so sucked in as you think about how many parts of the story could actually be true.
Having said that, he seems to put comic book characters into his books. They tend to be fairly flat, with their defining characteristics aligned the same general direction. Robert Langdon is just a regular guy who's freaky good at puzzles and codes. Langdon also seems like Superman in that it seems like his hair never really gets messed up, he makes his way through the story relatively unscathed. Sure, maybe he gets beat up every now and then, has to run and hide a couple of times, but he's not like John McClane in Die Hard, bleeding all over the place in his cut-up bare feet, doesn't seem to have a dark side that he indulges when he's on the run and "accidents" could happen. I understand that because he's so smart, he gets to stay just a little bit ahead of the physical danger. But that never seems to help Batman. Batman's the World's Greatest Detective, but he has to get his point across to criminals with his bonecrushing fists.
The last point I want to bring up is how many deep, sinister global conspiracies can there be in the world at a time? Holy crap! And a single guy (Robert Langdon) has dug into all of them? Really? I mean, this is more than Mulder and Scully figured out. They only had to deal with the one about aliens. All the other weird stuff they had to figure out were just unexplained, odd cases. And that was their freaking job! They weren't puppeteers by day, mystery solvers when Uncle Sam called the hotline. They were already FBI agents, so it was their job to dig into conspiracies.
All in all, I think the stories are interesting, the characters aren't. And Mr. Brown sells a lot of stories.
Sunday, September 13
getting closer
I've got an idea for something else to include in the next novel, a secondary plot. It involves some heartache, some disappointment, and possibly some ninjas. But not just any ninjas. We'll have to see how that all works out in November.
I know that it's no fun to get teased with no end in sight, no release at all, so I'll totally hook you up. It's just that right now, I don't have anything either. I don't know where it's all going to go or even all the elements I'm going to drag in. I'm almost as in the dark about this as you are. In a couple of months, though, I'll have an idea what I'm doing and I'll get it put together for you as quickly as I can. Since you're all just clamoring for my books anyway. This is a theoretical audience I'm writing to here. Kind of like Twitter feels like I'm posting thoughts to a theoretical group of people who probably don't care much what I have to say, which isn't much at only 140 characters a pop. Pfft.
Friday, September 11
Flash of Genius!
A death-dealing, cybernetically enhanced clone of Abraham Lincoln.
Would you want to take that on? I didn't think so. I wonder where he's going to show up in my upcoming book. Have another brilliant idea you wouldn't mind me stealing and working in somewhere? Share in the comments and I'll include you in a Special Thanks section.
Wednesday, September 9
Getting back into it
I haven't been as good about updating this blog or maintaining the stuff it connects to as I could have been. One of my goals for the rest of the year is to update this a little more regularly. I know what you're saying--you've heard this before. But really. I want to do a better job of working on this. You know you deserve it.
In the meantime, let me give you one little bit of advice. If you're shooting media around your house, between four computers and searching the internet at the same time, don't try to do all of that with a wireless network with a single router. I've given my poor router fits trying to keep up, and I'm trying to think of a good way to wire as much of it together as I can.
In the meantime, let me give you one little bit of advice. If you're shooting media around your house, between four computers and searching the internet at the same time, don't try to do all of that with a wireless network with a single router. I've given my poor router fits trying to keep up, and I'm trying to think of a good way to wire as much of it together as I can.
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