Wednesday, November 25

My handwriting sucks

I haven't posted much recently because I'm deep in the middle of National Novel Writing Month. That's coming along alright, I suppose, but that's not what I want to write about now.

This last week, we were watching the old Miracle on 34th Street and I watched Maureen O'Hara add her little note on the little girl's letter to Santa. That's when I had a realization--my handwriting totally sucks. It's not bad, it's just that her penmanship was so much more fluid and beautifully legible than mine.

I think this next year, I want to work on my penmanship. That's what I wanted to share.

Wednesday, November 18

In the trenches

Hey there, ladies and gents. It's the middle of National Novel Writing Month and I'm about in the middle of writing my newest novel. I've decided I hate most of the characters' names, but I'm pressing on with the ones I've got. Names can come later. If you're into robot fights and Abraham Lincoln, you may just like this book. I'm not particularly thrilled with it at the moment, but that's probably because I'm in the middle of grinding away on it. I seem to have no problem writing down enough words but I'm not excited about the story itself. Right now, I'm thinking that I'm most excited to just be done with it. I'll catch you up in a bit.

Wednesday, October 21

Help me figure this out

I'm getting ready to start NaNoWriMo in a few days and I've got an idea, but I'm having trouble figuring something out. It's a detail, really, but could end up being a good chunk of the novel. Help me answer this question.

Why would a woman get her breasts done that has nothing to do with being in an adult industry? And don't say "Because she wants to." There needs to be an actual reason for it.

Let me know what you think, all 1 of you reading this.

Wednesday, October 14

Are you as excited as I am?

In just about two weeks, we'll be in November, which means that National Novel Writing Month is almost here! I'm so excited for it, I've been updating my profile information, polishing up my notes, making sure I have the most up-to-date version of Scrivener, and looking into the month's festivities. I'm so excited to see where this thing goes. I've got a general direction, but I'm not exactly sure how it'll all happen and who all will show up in the story. If you have suggestions (since no one reads this blog anyway), I'd love to hear them.

Wednesday, September 30

Not feeling it today

At the moment, there are a number of things in my house that are dismantled because they're not working the way they should be and I'm not feeling much like writing today. I need to keep in the habit, though, because I decided a while ago that I want to make sure that I'm taking time regularly to do things to exercise this creative streak I have, feed the machine that comes up with ideas like the killer cyborg Abraham Lincoln.

Today at work, I came up with a visual for a kind of internal marketing effort for the big tool I'm helping manage development of. I'm excited about it and wondering how much buzz I can build around this tool.

Wednesday, September 23

another week, another update

Here we both are again, rolling our eyes over the same text, but not the same as last time. When I said "same text," I meant you're looking at the same words I'm looking at, but it's different from the last stuff I wrote. Having cleared that up, probably unnecessarily, let's move on.

You know how you have the best ideas in the places where it's not very easy to take notes? Buckaroo Banzai calls them the three Bs: bed, bus and bath. They come to you when you're showering or brushing your teeth, driving or riding on the bus and staring out the window, or while you're lying in bed hoping that you can fall asleep because you have an early morning meeting that you have to be on time for. You know what I'm talking about. They're the best ideas because your mind's relaxed, you don't have to pay attention to what you're doing and your mind is free to make connections between crazy things without fear of being censored. And then you come up with a simple, elegant solution to the problem you've been trying to work out or you've got a great idea that fits perfectly with what you were thinking before.

The only trouble with those revelations is you're in the middle of doing something else and I don't know about you, but I always have to debate whether the idea is worth climbing out of bed for to write down because I know I'll forget it by the time I wake up. Or if I'm in the shower, I have to decide if I mind some water drips on my notebook. Yes, I have some trouble retaining good ideas, probably because they feel all out of place in my head, which probably looks like a frigate in a bottle on the inside. It's not unusual at all for me to be lying in bed and jump out all of a sudden to write something down that I think is absolutely brilliant.

Recently, I've been keeping my iPhone by my bed to take those kinds of notes on. (I have most of my brilliant flashes while I'm in bed.) There are a couple of advantages with that. When I need to write down some notes, it makes its own light. I don't have to turn a light on, like I do with my notebook. The other nifty thing is that the notes automatically make it to the computer I do my writing on, so I have them in one place.

The disadvantages are that I'm less inclined to jump out of the shower to take a note because I don't want to hurt my nifty phone, where with a notebook, I just wipe my hands off and write. A couple of drips on the page don't bother me. The other thing I can think of is that if I have it in the bedroom, it makes noises at me as it gets emails and other things, which is annoying when I'm trying to sleep.

The important thing here, though, is to take the notes. You'll be glad you did.

Monday, September 21

Boys have bathroom rules

For the women who read this blog, it may come as a surprise to you that men have bathroom rules. We all just know them, kind of like information about tanks and Superman. These rules are very stringent, yet never spoken about; it's just part of being a boy. Also, keep in mind that these rules are standard in the American culture.

Rule 1: No looking around.
This one seems like kind of a no-brainer. You can look straight forward, you can look down. Even looking straight up is seen as a breach of etiquette, but won't earn you the disdain of everyone in the room like breaking some of the other rules will.

Rule 2: No talking.
Talking to yourself is unacceptable, to say nothing of talking to another man. There is an uncomfortable, marginally acceptable exception to this rule, and that is if you're both finished and only washing your hands. Still, that makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable and is generally avoided. If you're taking your kid to the bathroom, you can talk to your kid.

This rule is why that scene in Austin Powers is so uncomfortable. Not only is Austin breaking this rule when the Irish assassin guy attacks him, but the guy in the next stall is breaking the rule as well. And not just any guy. It's Tom Arnold. If you ranked all the guys in the world who would make you the most uncomfortable talking to you in the bathroom, he'd rank up there in the top 5.


Rule 3: No touching.
Do I really need to comment on this one? There aren't any exceptions I can think of that don't involve life-and-death situations. Because if you touch someone, you'll find yourself in a life-and-death situation pretty quickly.


Rule 4: Don't take a spot right next to someone else, if you can help it.
Men will only use half the toilets there are actually installed if they can possibly help it. Obvious exceptions would be sporting events like a baseball game or football game, where you've all got to go at halftime or whatever break in the action there is. The need to quickly be back watching the game outweighs this rule. Another bathroom rule that Tom Arnold broke in the Austin Powers movie, making it that much more uncomfortable.


So why this sudden interest to get these rules out there? Because there are regular breaches in American male bathroom etiquette at work, not to mention other things that make me cringe. I thought I'd share because who doesn't like bathroom jokes?

As a parting gift, here's a list of noises you definitely don't want to hear in the bathroom:
  • grunting
  • snoring
  • panting
  • nervous giggling
  • laughing
  • someone saying "oh, no" or "whoops"